October 8 -- Determan Wedding Sermon

Please take a look at the back of the wedding bulletin. I would like to begin by reading the thank you that Matt and Liz wrote to all of you gathered here today.

As we stand before you today it is difficult to find words to express the feelings of love and joy we share with you. God has truly blessed us. Thank you for being part of this day as we vow our love and commitment to one another before God and you. It is our prayer that from this day on we continue to grow closer to each other and closer to God. We would like to extend a sincere thank you to all of you for the support and encouragement to make this day possible.

I do not believe much in coincidence. By Divine providence, Matt and Liz mention the very thing I want to emphasize to them this afternoon. And that is that you need to pay careful attention to your pledge in the marriage vows you will speak this day before your family and friends, your pastor and before this altar. They are not easy or light. They are serious. But, that being said, you are not asked anything that you cannot control. You are not asked to make promises about your emotions. You are not asked to "be in love" with one another; to be happy together, to like each other, or to set off sparks and warm, fuzzy feelings in each other. Before God, in His holy house, you are to be asked about what you intend to do.

Matt, will you have Liz as your wife, sacrifice your pride and ego; your wants and desires and be defined instead by her wants and desires? Will you cling to her? Will you remain with her and none other? Will you love her, comfort her, and honor her?

Liz, will you submit to Matt as the Church submits to Christ and His Word? Will you respect him and his leadership as the head of your household? Will you remain with him and none other? Will you love him, comfort him, and honor him?

Will you both be together what God intends for marriage? Will you Matt be the head of the marriage and will you Liz be its heart? For when this is so neither one is more important than the other, and neither can survive alone.

Don't come back and say, "We fell out of love." So what? That doesn't affect the promises you make this day one bit. These promises that you make before God and to each other are all made today without condition or limitation, no matter what, come what may, in good days and in bad, whether she (or you) keeps her (or your) end of the bargain or not. And besides, those who can “fall out of love” can “fall back into love” again. So if it happens, and sin certainly happens, get help. Marriage between two sinful people always has its difficulties. Don't give up. Marriage is for life. And that means unto death.

Unto death. It is kinda scary, isn't it? It should be. Part of you dies this day. The old part, the individual part, the selfish look out for your own well-being self. That self is sacrificed for the new, for the one flesh that you will be, for the joy that is living according to God's Word in the Holy estate of Marriage. Unto death means putting up with things you think you have some control over. It means even through sickness, poverty, mood swings, silly quarrels, whose turn it is to load the dishwasher, what color and which room needs painting, and $1000 car repairs because she forgot to check the oil. It means suffering for and alongside one another as friends and family die. It means sacrificing and dying for one another even when you know you’re right. This gets us a little closer to what it means when you say “even unto death”.

Marriage has been created by God and given to His children for their good. It is a mystery like unto the Church Herself, and even her Sacraments. Thus the vow and promise you make to one another on this day is but a repeating of the vow and promise Jesus has made, and fulfilled, to you. All the things you say to God and one another about what you will be to one another He has said and done perfectly for you by Christ!

For each of you are, first and foremost, His holy, beloved, and chaste Bride. Christ has taken you by the waters of Holy Baptism, placed His Name upon you; He has given you life. Jesus has loved, comforted, honored, and kept you. He has been faithful unto death, even death on a cross. All this He has done solely out of Fatherly, Divine goodness and mercy, without any merit or worthiness in you. He has loved you and been faithful, steadfast and patient. He has cared for you when you broke His commandments. He has been there, like the father of the prodigal son, eager to take you back, to welcome you and rejoice at your return. He is quick to forgive. He has been faithful unto death, dying in your place, for your guilt, and giving you His life and inheritance. His love is so great that death could not hold Him. He who died to justify you, has risen again to sanctify you by the power of His Word!

The fact of the matter is that you won't keep your promise perfectly toward each other as Jesus keeps His to you. You'll sin. Your sins will hurt the ones you love; often times the ones you love the most. They always do. But Jesus’ concrete and ongoing forgiveness, mercy, and compassion, His grace and steadfast love, will give you the strength to forgive, to love, and to be merciful toward each other. Living in His Grace you are free to do what you promise this day: free to be faithful, to be loving, to speak gently and kindly, to sacrifice yourself for your wife, and for you Liz to submit to your husband, to be generous, and above all, to be forgiving. Even when you don't feel like it, even when it hurts or is embarrassing, the love of Christ is strong enough to make marriage last a lifetime.

So pay careful attention to the pledge and vows this day. They are not easy or light. They are serious, as serious as death. But in Christ, who makes all things new, they are possible and in them is perfect joy. For He has kept them for you. He has taken up your sicknesses and shame, broken down the walls that held you in, paved the road to heaven. He has paid for your transgressions, mistakes, and inconsistencies. There is no one to accuse. Death, serious though it is, has been satisfied by Him who has been faithful unto death. It has no hold over you. You are free. Free to love each other as God intends. Free to be one, in Christ. God bless you. In the name of + Jesus, Amen.