A $333 Lesson (Or What We Learned From a Stove)

Me like cookies.

I've been sitting on this story. Let's just stay it's been cooking for awhile.

A few months back, we returned home from our lovely whirlwind Labor Day weekend to Ohio to meet our awesome niece and visit with family. In the midst of packing and fevers (yes, Papa and I were down with illness at the same time for the first time in our married lives--right when we needed to go on a trip! When it rains...), we had a little kerfuffle with our glass-topped stove. The stove won. Which meant we had to get a new one.

Brief history: a few years ago, our hot water heater went out, and we didn't get the part to fix it for nearly a week due to a problem with the manufacturer. In the meantime, we kept our hot-water canner constantly going on the stove to have hot water to wash dishes, wash kids, et cetera.Well, the thing was quite heavy, and in the midst of hauling it off and on several times a day for several days, a hairline crack became one that stretched from one side to the other. Fast forward a few years until right before our trip, and a momentary lapse in thinking (by whom, I won't say) led to a very heavy bag being set on the stovetop, pushed down, and--you guessed it--a minor crack became one that rendered our stove top unusable (unless we wanted to test the limits of our homeowner's insurance policy, which we didn't).

So upon our return, Papa did some research and shopping around. Then we went to look at some possibilities in our local True Value. I'll admit it now: new appliances are compelling. They're brand-spankin'-sparkly clean and so coolly high-tech. "Just try me. I'll roast your organic squash so beautifully you'll weep." Picturing gourmet fare bubbling (or even locally grown bacon frying) on a flawless stainless-steel gas-topped stove made us practically drool all over the the showroom linoleum. But our dreams of divine dinners from a deliciously-new stove instantly disappeared when we saw the price tags. $800. $1000. Even more. If we wanted to stick with gas (which would require a pricey line installation, as our broken stove ran on electricity), if we wanted stainless steel, if we wanted a stove that had a fridge/freezer match that we'd eventually buy...the "ifs" and choices just kept on stacking up. And penny-pincher that I am, I gave Papa my ultimatum: I just want a stove top--and a stove--that works. And one that is as cheap as possible.

Which led us to the used appliances section in the back, tucked into an out-of-the-way nook that underscored the misfit look of the bunch. Crusty tops. Dusty buttons. Faded colors. Some really old stuff--like, older than me. (Ha!) But there in the corner, we saw a fairly clean, white, digital glass-topped stove. With a double oven! All by itself that feature was compelling. But the stove had also just spent ten years in a Home Ec (or whatever they call it now) classroom in the high school. The bottom oven didn't even look like it had been used. And the crud under the front lip? A little baking soda and elbow grease could get rid of that in no time.

The list price scribbled on a big tag was a whistle-inducing $300. Because I'm finally embracing the hutzpah that comes with marking thirty years of life, I wasted no time flexing my negotiating muscles. "Would you take $250?" I asked the salt-of-the-earth kind man who was waiting on us. He raised his eyebrows and said he didn't think so--but he'd go ask the manager. When he returned, he said they'd take $275. Just like that, $25 saved! (Okay, okay--don't remind me that this whole situation could have been avoided, thus saving us way more than $25. Throw me a bone here.) Anyway, after taxes and an in-town delivery and take-away of the sad, sad old stove just an hour later, we found ourselves the owners of a "new" stove--and only out $333.

So what did we learn? These things (but not necessarily in this order):

• Thank God for hairline cracks when you have them. You never know when they're going to split and start looking really rangy. 
• Schools must have a lot of money when they can trade in very gently used stoves after a decade to get new $1200 ones. Where do I sign up to get new appliances after a decade?
• A kitchen without a working stove top is not a kitchen. It's a room with a sink and a lot of uncooked food. Yeah, yeah--an oven is great, a microwave is barely meh. But there's only so many meals you can ad lib between the two. Believe me; I did it for three days, and that was plenty.
• Glass-topped stoves might not be ideal for barbells or other heavy-weight shelving, but they look positively Edenic when the alternative is microwaved vegetables. Again.
• Buying stuff with cash is awesome. Awesome, we say! Try it; you'll like it.
• Buying used appliances with cash is even better than awesome. AWESOME, all caps!
• Baking soda, water, and a toothbrush work wonders on stove crud.
• Baking multiple treats with a double-oven feels like living in some kind of space-time continuum, sort of like wearing a time-turner amidst chocolate-chips. Every time I turn around, a timer's going off. Already?! I baked fifteen dozen cookies for our annual Open House in less than two hours. Rock on!
• Don't "B"s together look weird? Especially "B"s next to bullet points?