Good men are hard to find.

I'm a little late on the uptake here, but this WSJ article from the weekend reflects a lot of what I've been reading lately. Just this morning I was thinking about my married friends and which ones had the ideal husband--the responsible-but-loving type. The vast majority of the blessed ones, I realized, are married to pastors--men who have to "man up" and undertake incredibly difficult tasks while also remaining sensitive and loving. I know; these guys aren't perfect and often fall short (I'm married to one). But they embody so much of what's missing in so many guys. And, sadly, I think parents, schools, and even churches have denied boys the role models they've needed because, well, men are brutal and savage and who wants THAT for our sons? Here's a few gems--irony noted--from Kay Hymowitz's article adapted from her book:

Today's pre-adult male is like an actor in a drama in which he only knows what he shouldn't say. He has to compete in a fierce job market, but he can't act too bossy or self-confident. He should be sensitive but not paternalistic, smart but not cocky. To deepen his predicament, because he is single, his advisers and confidants are generally undomesticated guys just like him.

Single men have never been civilization's most responsible actors; they continue to be more troubled and less successful than men who deliberately choose to become husbands and fathers. So we can be disgusted if some of them continue to live in rooms decorated with "Star Wars" posters and crushed beer cans and to treat women like disposable estrogen toys, but we shouldn't be surprised.

Relatively affluent, free of family responsibilities, and entertained by an array of media devoted to his every pleasure, the single young man can live in pig heaven—and often does. Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man. But these rational choices on the part of women only serve to legitimize men's attachment to the sand box. Why should they grow up? No one needs them anyway. There's nothing they have to do.

They might as well just have another beer.

For an alternative--albeit evangelical--to this pre-adult lifestyle (which also affects women, but that's another post topic), check out Alex and Brett Harris's Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations.

I pray God that our sons will have many fine male examples to follow. And their father will lead the way--by the way, he painted the entire basement this afternoon. After spoonfeeding S, playing with P, writing and editing sermons and I-don't-know-what-all, taking pastoral phone calls, and generally being an awesome, awesome Dad and Husband. And this was just today!